I love animals

My dumbass cat got herself stuck on the roof of my two-story apartment block.
She’s a curious, adventurous, strictly indoor cat who apparently decided to evolve into a “roof cat” this weekend.
It started when I was chatting at my front door. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted her strolling casually past outside. I have no idea how she got out — but I’m pretty sure it was through the hole she’s been chewing into one of the flyscreens.
She went straight for her favorite tree, climbed it like always… but this time she launched herself onto the roof of the building.
For a while, she was having the time of her life — patrolling the gutters, bird-watching, soaking up the view. Then reality hit: getting back down wasn’t going to be so simple. So she sat up there, screaming at me like I was the one who put her there.
Cue the rescue attempts:
Council: “Call the RSPCA.”
RSPCA: “Did you try the council? Maybe the SES.”
SES: “Only if she’s injured or stuck for 24 hours. Call tomorrow.”
000: “Did you try council or RSPCA?” (
) They finally lodged a request with the fire station… which was promptly rejected.
Construction site across the street: Ladder locked up like Fort Knox.
Neighbour’s ladder: Too short.
Tradie friend: Happy to help… except his ladder was with his colleague for the weekend.
At this point I was dying inside. But my tradie friend shows up anyway, climbs onto the roof of his ute, scrambles onto the first story roof (yes, he should’ve had a harness), and meets my cat on the edge of the second story.
She strolls up to him cool as anything, like, “Oh hey, you must be my Uber.” Climbs into the basket without a fuss. Gets lowered down. Immediately acts like nothing ever happened. Zero shame. Pure “this was the plan all along” energy.
TL;DR: Keep your indoor cats indoors. Especially if they’re part feline, part mountain goat… and your local emergency services run on a flow chart that takes 24 hours before anyone shows up.

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